Ephreak Title

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Is English an easy language to learn?

Let's face it, English is a crazy language:

There is no egg in Eggplant nor ham in hamburguer; neither apple nor pine in pinapple.

English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeat are candies while sweetbreads, which are not sweet, are meat.



So far you have taken English for granted, haven't you? Anyway, let's continue exploring its paradoxes:

Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea-pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. An why is it that writers write, singers sing but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, Two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.



What about this?

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamtress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



Sometimes, I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.


Definitely, I'm going to take up Arabic and Chinese... xDD

1 Comments:

Blogger Tiny Dancer said...

Just too tired to read all that stuff... But I promise I will!!

11:20 PM  

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